How to Go On When Your Life Seems Hopeless…
How to Move Forward When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over
Jeff Davis | The Tiny Buddha
“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
At seventeen years old, baseball was my life. I played on the top summer Connecticut baseball teams, constantly practiced and trained, and dreamed of being a starter for the high school varsity team. Junior year I was on varsity but didn’t get any playing time, so I was putting all my hopes and dreams into spring of my senior year.
When I went to college showcases, I was one of the standout players and I received many letters in the mail from interested colleges who wanted me to go and play for them. I had scouts coming up to me saying, “Wow, you are an incredible hitter and ballplayer.”
Senior year, I did extremely well in tryouts. In live scrimmages against other teams, I was one of the only players on our team to consistently hit well.
In the last scrimmage of tryouts, I crushed a double against a Division I college-recruit athlete, one of the only players on my team to get a hit off of him. As a soon-to-be college athlete, I was one of the best players in the league.
Unexpected News in the Locker Room
On the bus ride back to the locker room after the final day of scrimmaging against another team, I was on cloud nine. I’d had a good game and had proved myself. Years of hard work and sacrifice were finally coming to fruition.
The coach took out the list and read the names of the players who made the team.
My name wasn’t called…
I was cut.
I was beyond devastated—I was destroyed. On the drive home, all I could think was, I’m nobody, I’m nothing, and I’m worthless. Those horrible thoughts kept playing in my head like a broken record.
I had all of my self-worth caught up with being on this team.
The Dark Night of My Soul
When I got home my parents were loving and supportive, but I pushed them away because I was so upset. I isolated myself, terrifying thoughts running through my mind:
I’m nothing. My life is over. I will never be able to show my face to the world again. All my years of hard work are wasted.
With all my self-worth flushed down the toilet, my dreams gone, and embarrassed to the full extent possible, I was ready to take my own life. I was ready to kill myself.
Have you ever been so zoomed in on something that you completely lost yourself in it?
That was exactly what I was experiencing, and because it was ripped from me so unexpectedly, I truly no longer wanted to be alive.
Senior year turned out to be the worst year of my life after everyone told me that it would be the best year. The happy endings we see in movies don’t always exist in reality. At the time, it seemed like my life had become a nightmare from which I couldn’t escape.
I went to the garage, grabbed the rope from the workbench, and considered hanging myself from the tree out back. But just before taking my own life, one last spark of hope came to me that said, “Put the rope down, go up to your room, and go to sleep. You will get READ MORE: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-move-forward-when-you-feel-like-your-life-is-over/ub